Redstick SF

“Recast me? I make this look good.”

Aint it Cool News is reporting that Paramount has released some casting information/requests for the upcoming Star Trek film. You can find the link here.

Or you can just read it here:

STAR TREK
Feature Film
SAG
PARAMOUNT PICTURES/BAD ROBOT

[JAMES KIRK] 23-29 Handsome,cocky self assured and earnest. Great physical condition. 6 ft or less

[LEONARD(BONES)MCOY] -28-32 Medic on the Enterprise. Smart, clever and a bit danger-loving. Dark hair, blue eyes.

[UHURA] 25ish -African American. Brilliant, beautiful, heroic and FUN!, Uhura is almost tom-boyish - as if she grew up in a houseful of brothers.

[SULU] 25-32 -Asian American male (preferably Japanese). Helmsman on the Enterprise. Extremely fit, capable and dedicated. A bit of a wildcat

[MONTGOMERY(SCOTTY) SCOTT] -28-32 a brilliant ship’s engineer. Must be able to do a flawless Scottish accent!

This is really interesting for a couple of reasons.

1. Kirk is indeed going to be young. At most, they want someone 29 or younger. Strangely, they don’t mind if Scotty or Sulu are older (32 or so). I’m not sure how they’re going to explain that the Captain is younger than the helmsman or the engineer…

2. The “tom-boyish” angle on Uhura doesn’t seem to gel with any of the Trek canon. And that’s good because it signals that they are thinking of Uhura as more than just the token African-American character. That “bout time!” you just heard off in the distance was Nichelle Nichols.

Still, it’s hard to tell just what the film’s producers mean when they say that Uhura “grew up in a houseful of brothers.”

3. Sulu’s description asks for “a bit of a wildcat”. I couldn’t read that without thinking of Sulu in the episode “Cat’s Paw”. I also couldn’t read that without thinking of the word “flamboyant”. So, we’ll see.

4. You really get an appreciation for what these people are up against when you read this list and you realize how quickly the original characters and actors pop into your mind.

It’s not that they can’t find an actor that can be Kirk. But can they find someone who can be Kirk AND the Transformed Man?

You be the judge.

That’s right, we’re only days away from Scifi Channel’s reimagining of Flash Gordon. If you had no idea, that’s okay. Scifi has released next to nothing (including only a teaser website and a 30 sec trailer).

That hair is amazingly well-styled for a man who makes his living sprinting.

This newest incarnation, if we can tell anything from the trailer, seems to have emerged from the Battlestar Galactica school of production. It’s sleek and updated (Ming doesn’t look like he’s cashing in on those fun stereotypes: see below) while gesturing back to some of the cooler aspects of the canon (the teaser trailer is set to the 80s awesomeness of Queen’s theme for the 1980 film).

Old Ming:

New Ming:

Scifi claims to have prepared a 22 episode season. Given that the photos show the series to be an visual clone of the new Battlestar, the concept seems like a no-brainer to me. I’d give it a better than average chance of being good. It can’t possibly be worse than the Dresden Files.

By the way, while you’re waiting for the Aug 10th premiere, Scifi wants you to amuse/embarass yourself with their “Sing the Flash Anthem!” promo. Here’s a link to that.

14-year-olds everywhere are preparing videos that they’ll later regret…

Hey folks,
Just wanted to fill you in on a change to the site. It’s been a slow couple of months since Battlestar went off the air for the season. Since episodes won’t return until 2008 and, even then, the series is to be cancelled after this season, I thought we might expand the site to other areas of SF interest.

It’s a good time to do it too. Some interesting announcements were made concerning SF television shows and film projects at last week’s Comic-con that I’m sure we all want to discuss. The fall television schedule will kick off in a month and SF shows look to play a major role in primetime lineups. Even as soon as Aug 10th we’ll have a new incarnation of Flash Gordon to either enjoy or agonize over.

So, anyway, let’s get to it.

So, the teaser for Battlestar’s made-for-tv/dvd-movie has been out for a couple of weeks. Teaser trailers are cool. They basically do only two things:

1. Get you pumped up about the show with random images, dialogue, and important sounding music.
2. Remind you that you once watched a show named Battlestar Galactica, you liked it, and eventhough you’ll nearly be a year older when it comes back on, it asks you (nicely) to watch again.

Emotion is the key to the teaser trailer. You can have clips of your characters blabbing off about something as long as you’re showing something blowing up or someone loading a gun all while important sounding music plays in the background.

The last line of this trailer is a good example. I’m not sure exactly what “War is our imperative” means, but when I heard Adm Cain (Michelle Forbes) say it, I wanted to high-five/punch/shoot something. And then, I really hated some guy named Emmanuel Goldstein.

Skeet Ulrich, doing his best Che Guevera.

Well, Jesus H. Christ. This has been an exciting summer for television programming.

Here’s the short version:
1. Jericho is back (it seems), even if only for 8 eps mid-season.
2. Battlestar is indeed cancelled after next season.
3. Billy Donovan still looks like Eddie Munster. Regardless of who he coaches.

You know, married couples angling for a divorce can often point to a certain event or a point in the relationship when they knew it was over. As a Battlestar fan, I’d like to suggest the following as my list for when I started wandering out to bars, having last-minute “business meetings” while Battlestar spent Wednesday nights alone:

1. If we’re being honest, it probably began with “Black Market”: an episode that, albeit belatedly, established that child slavery (for lack of a better term) is bad, hookers have hearts of gold, and that the writers weren’t above dragging the whole series down to a NYPD Blue crime-drama diversion.

2. “The Woman King”: You knew it was going to be one of those days when the “previously on Battlestar Galactica” showed scenes we haven’t seen. I’ve already written about how bad it was.

3. The Baltar trial: Yep, they really made us sit through it. Next time, Universal could save money by using old Matlock clips if the writers are just going to phone it in.

It got really bad when:
Baltar, referring to Gaeta’s murder attempt, calls him “butterfingers” in court. Yep.

It’s bad when the news that your series has been cancelled is met by a general shrug of the shoulders. We’ll see what happens next season anyway.

Whether selling clothes just to buy food or huddling for warmth by any nearby fire, this is a horrifying glimpse at what Battlestar cast members should expect now that the show is indeed cancelled after its fourth season.

That’s right, folks. Battlestar is cancelled.

Olmos’s drunken rants aside, the official news came down from Battlestar producers David Eick and Ronald D. Moore last week.

So, is anyone really surprised? Does anyone care? It will be so long until we see the first episode of the next season, it might as well be cancelled already.

“You’re show doesn’t offer relevant social commentary!”
J. Randall Finnegan, Battlestar Galactica fan, taunts other SF fans at local convention.

While scanning the Scifi (or “Skiffy”) channel message boards late last night I noticed this post:

It’s author, a poster on the Star Trek: Enterprise board, likens Battlestar fans to soccer (or football) hooligans.

He writes:

Battlestar forum seems to be dominated by people shouting “Battlestar Suxxors!” and “Battlestar Rockxxx! Die heretics!” at each other all day. And people calling each other trolls 24-7. What the hell is going on here?

Okay, first of all, you’re goddamned right Battlestar fans are hardcore.

The last time someone said something about Edward James Olmos, this is what happened:

Now, this guy is a fan of Star Trek: Enterprise. No bones about it, their fans aren’t to be trifled with. I think we all remember the melee that erupted at the 2005 DragonCon in Atlanta when someone accused their fans of supporting a show with relatively weak continuity to the other shows in their franchise.

But perhaps it is time to set the record straight. Clear up any rumors. You know, make nice.

True: Battlestar Fans are PUMPED about their show.
True: They would never use the term “Suxxors.” That’s something only fans of the Dresden Files would do.
True: Public urination IS a viable form of dissention or a manner in which to show your dissatisfaction on the Battlestar Galactica message board.
True: When a child is born to a Battlestar fan, it is scrutinized for any possible sign of weakness or defect. If one is found, it is put to death.
True: Back when they were in elementary school together, Ron Moore stole God’s lunch money and gave him a black eye.

False: Battlestar fans eat puppies.
False: Battlestar fans typically wear a-shirts (”wifebeaters”). (Instead, they go shirtless so they can show off their classy Tricia Helfer tatoos.
False: Battlestar fans once had to be tear-gassed by authorities at the 2006 ComicCon to break up a riot that began when a LOST fan accused Ron Moore and David Eick of not having a definition of Science Fiction that informs and directs their screenwriting on BSG. (It was pepper-spray.)

Well, hopefully that clears it all up. If you’ve still got a problem with it, well…

I’m sorry but this picture of Moore cracks me up. I’d call it his “Ronaldo Jefe Moore” picture.

Saw this little piece on MTV’s really, really annoying site (it’s got about five different movie trailers trying to play while you read the story).

It seems that BSG producers have discussed the possibility of a BSG theatrical release. Here’s the relevant section:

MTV: Could you ever see a “Battlestar” theatrical film? Is that something that’s ever talked about?

Moore: We’ve talked about it internally. There’s never really been any sort of discussion with Universal Features, and I’m not sure creatively what I would want that to be. Even with these two hours that we’re doing for the DVD release, I think of them as tied very specifically into the show. It’s hard to come up with what’s the completely stand-alone version of “Galactica” that isn’t really tied into our mythos. I don’t know that there’s a great theatrical story out there waiting to be told.

That last part kills me. Really? You can’t think of something? We’ll see how long that lasts once the show ends and RDM realizes that his career has become increasingly defined by BSG.

In other words, no one’s begging for a film based on RDM’s third season of Roswell.

Anyway, here’s the rest of the story:

The episode that explains why Ron Moore never wrote for Matlock, Perry Mason, or any John Grisham movies.

I’m glad I took that week to reflect on Battlestar’s season finale. I was going to praise how ambiguous Ron Moore and David Eick left the final five Cylon situation. After all, how do they know they’re Cylons? You start hearing Bob Dylan in your head?

If that’s the case, we’ve got a Cylon problem around here.

But no, apparently the show’s creators meant for that scene to be a hard and fast confirmation of their Cylon-itude.

Anders…I get.
Tyrol…I get.
Col. Tigh…I really get.

Tory? Who the hell cares?

The thing that surprises me the most, though, is how excited people were about the final episode. The google alert function on my gmail account was working overtime collecting writing from around the net that read basically like this:

IT WAS STARBUCK! OMG!!!! This show ROXORS!

I know what you’re thinking. Very articulate.

It’s not that the final episode is boring. Well, okay, the conclusion to the trial is boring. Mainly because Lee Adama delivers his dissertation on the justice system, democracy, and life.

The final scene lacks something. Perhaps it’s Sackhoff’s wooden delivery but her line, “I’ve been to Earth, I know where it is and I’m gonna take us there,” could just as well have been:

“Lee, I’m going to the store to get a can of those low sodium peas you like. Is there anything you’d like me to pick up while I’m there? No, the low sodium ones! I know that the others make you gassy.”

And so, I’m left with this realization about Battlestar.

This is just a good, not great, show with flashes of greatness from time to time.

Perhaps this isn’t fair to Battlestar, but, as in all things, you’re judged against your peers. Here are some shows currently running on major networks that would make up Battlestar’s peer group (if such a thing existed):

1. LOST: The writing for this show is light-years ahead of Battlestar. Every week this show gives its viewers something vibrant and emotionally complex. They have never lost sight of the fact that story telling is about people, their interactions, their fatal flaws, and their redeeming, if fleeting, virtues. From time to time it feels like RDM gets side-tracked with wanting to blow stuff up or his Cylon/Colonial religious mumbo-jumbo.

What emphasizes the disparity between these two shows is that they are so alike in composition (employing long story arcs) and, yet, LOST doesn’t seem to take an off week. Battlestar isn’t above a boxing episode or a “Helo pisses everyone off again” episode.

Simply put, writers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse are putting on a clinic.

2. Jericho: The most like Battlestar in its inconsistency. You’ll have an episode or two a season that just might change the way you think about the world (”Occupation” through “Exodus”). And, then, you’ll have your “fire at the local elementary school” episode or, for Battlestar “The Woman King.”

3. American Idol: Insert obligatory Sanjaya Malakar jab here.

For the record, Bob Dylan is not a cylon. He’s just a really poor singer. Those two are frequently confused.

Now, go find something else to do until 2008.

“Not Guilty? Can I get a Boo-YAA!”

In a 3-2 vote, Gaius Baltar was acquited of treason etc. I have to say I was surprised by the verdict.

I was sure that Gaius’s previous behavior would have negatively influenced the tribunal.

I’m sure we all remember when Baltar led Galactica’s forces in a low-speed chase through the Los Angeles Solar system…

Personally, I thought it was over then. Watching him run from the 15-20 Vipers in low-speed pursuit really made me think he was guilty.

But, alas, we were unprepared for the sheer talent that Romo Lampkin, Esquire, brought to Baltar’s defense.

I think we all remember his catchy phrase, “If the gloves don’t fit, you must frakkin acquit.”

Brilliant!

What’s new on the horizon for the newly freed Gaius Baltar? According to insiders, Baltar is planning a fleet-wide book tour. Here’s the cover from his highly anticipated tome: