Redstick SF

Now that Starbuck is dead, impersonators such as Heather J. Finklefarn can return to their highly rewarding careers, nurturing relationships… okay, okay, it’s back to lonely nights, romantic comedies, and pints of “Chunky Monkey.”

It’s been almost three weeks since my last post. Sorry about that, I’ve been bogged down with papers to grade. Not unlike this one.

In that time we’ve seen Ep 317 “Maelstrom” and Ep 318 “The Son Also Rises.”

In reality, these two episodes could be called Ep 317 “Starbuck is Dead” and Ep 318 “No, Really. Starbuck is Dead.”

Like you, I’ve enjoyed watching the ripple of fan-boy/fan-girl freakout make its way through the web over Starbuck’s death. At first I thought I would post something like this:

But I thought that might be in poor taste. And, to tell the truth, if the 3rd season has taught us anything, it’s that there are certainly worse actors on this show.

Generally, these were good episodes. I had only a few qualms with them.

- The whole thing with Starbuck’s mom seemed to say that any degree of child abuse is okay as long as you scrapbook along the way.

-Who knew that Starbuck would go out like that? I would have guessed that she would have succumbed to a nasty STD. Something that rhymes with honorhea…

-If you really think Starbuck is gone, you should have your head examined. Just take a look at ALL of the upcoming projects Katie Sackhoff is working on over at IMDB. Yeah, she’ll be around.

-Was I the only person having trouble understanding anything Romo Lampkin said? I’ll add Mark Sheppard’s name next to Clive Owen and Bobcat Goldthwait’s on my list of people who talk like they have marbles/ sandpaper in their mouths.

-The pen that Baltar uses to write his manifesto. When Lampkin hands it to Caprica Six, she sniffs it like it reminds her of him.

BALTAR IS IN JAIL. HOW DO YOU THINK HE HIDES THAT PEN?!!!

Simply put, Caprica Six is sniffing Baltar’s ass. GROSS!

Finally, Battlestar has instituted its “Make Your Own Battlestar Video” competition. Not a bad idea, and it’s really nice of them that they’ve ponied up for the video, sound, and music clips. If you’re 14, you’ve got to be thrilled.

I’ve heard it said before, and I’ll repeat it again. I’m glad that there was no such thing as Youtube when I was a teenager. Chances are, this Battlestar video competition is going to lead to some very embarrasing footage for some young boy or girl that they’ll regret during a senate campaign later in life.

Like this

Or, definitely this.

On your way out, you MUST check out the site of these other impersonators. The Cylon Six is just sad.

Tyrol: “Cue the Twisted Sister CD, we’re on STRIKE!”

“Dirty Hands” is a peculiar episode. If you’re a big fan of (1) child labor, (2) Slavery/ Exploitation, (3)throwing people in jail for the books they read, and (4) killing Cally, then this is your episode!

Ok, so maybe most of us are for killing Cally.

Some quick thoughts about this episode:
1. Science fiction was supposed to be the genre that allowed for a space in which we could explore possibilities and solutions to these kinds of problems with only our imaginations as the limit. It looks like this episode (and increasing this show) suffers from a lack of imagination. The best way to deal with a labor strike is to threaten to kill someone’s wife? Really?

More than anything, we should feel disappointed.

2. Anybody else think that the ending was strange? Roslyn basically falls over herself to grant the laborers rights and concessions. That struck me as disingenuous. Isn’t it fun that she handled the strike situation the same way that Pres. Adar did with the educators union? “Yes, but the threat of the cylons justified her actions,” you’re saying to yourself. And that’s when the writers got you. What else is justifiable? What are the limits of what is justifiable by the Cylon threat? Killing Tyrol’s wife? Child labor? Two things we find morally repugnant, they skated right on through.

3. Extracting a worker’s labor power without compensation is called…wait for it…slavery. Work for a month without your boss paying you for your time. Yeah, that sucks eh?

These guys were working 16 hour shifts. Meanwhile, Apollo is arguing (and crying) with Dualla and sexin-up Starbuck. Yeah, that’s fair.

4. The ad hominem fallacy gets a good work out in this episode. Having Baltar, who many see as the villain of the show, provide the critique of class, invites the audience to dismiss it completely. Because Baltar may or may not have betrayed the human race to the Cylons does not mean that his criticisms of race and class are any less valid.

Then, to make matters worse, have Cally stammer something about the “ruling class” to remind the audience that if Cally thinks it, it certainly isn’t worthwhile.

Overall, probably a very frustrating episode for people who aren’t fascists.

Skeet Ulrich, fighting the man and his oppression ala Tommie Smith.

When I was in high school I played tennis for the school’s team. It’s a testament to how bad that team must have been. I was pretty awful. I’m even worse now.

This was totally me back in the days of my youthful indiscretions, aka tennis.

This one week we traveled south to Griffin, Ga and played, what was, at the time, one of the best teams in the state. We had no shot whatsoever. Coach, however, cheated and shifted the roster around so that our #1 in reality, would be listed as our #2 and thus, would play their #2. Of course, this meant that someone at the bottom of the roster had to play their best player.

That was me. For about an hour I got my ass kicked all around that court. The other team’s parents were shouting encouragement to me it was so bad. I’ve convinced myself that that guy must have gone on to play in college. It helps me sleep at night. Funny thing was that we still lost the thing. Usually, when you cheat, you should come closer to winning.

Watching Jericho go up against American Idol Wednesday night reminded me of that bewildering ass beating I took that day in Griffin, GA. Conventional wisdom would suggest that this show won’t make it out of its first season. However, a closer look reveals something much more dynamic going on over at CBS.

The relationship between American Idol and CBS’s Jericho is not unlike the lopsided battle between this five-year-old boy and a thermo-nuclear device.

After ordering a full season in October, CBS announced one month later it would split the season (in the same way ABC reordered LOST). That would put its new episodes a few weeks after Amer Idol’s season premiere. Essentially, it looks like CBS placed Jericho right in the path of the Idol big rig. (For some reason that image of the kid getting hit in Pet Sematary comes to mind)

Others have remarked at the scheduling effect American Idol has had on other networks. In short, they are all scrambling to own Monday or Thursday nights. So, if you’re CBS, that’s when you’re going to place a CSI or a CSI: Miami. Take a look at how well that has worked out for them in the 50 yr old and older demo (they have 6 out of the top 10 shows in that demographic, including the top three).

So, let’s take it for granted that CBS is trying to win those non-Idol nights and, then, their sacrificial lamb, Jericho, finishes 2nd in the 8pm hour against Idol while still dropping 23% below their season average in the 18-49 demographic (according to an astute poster on the Jericho boards, they actually pulled in around 8.69 million viewers totally).

Simply put, Jericho’s ratings may be irrelevant. CBS may be sandbagging Wednesday night. The fact that the show, on average, has performed decently, is a bonus.

What this all means is that the fans are going to get a full season of Jericho. And if that’s the case, who’s to say that CBS won’t renew the show for a Janurary 2008 start (like Battlestar) for the same reasons.

Can you find Col. Tigh?

Battlestar producers Ronald Moore and David Eick want you to know that this is an ambitious episode. After all, it’s a bold move to name your episode after, arguably, one of the most influential Beatles songs written.

In 45 minutes, they attempt to address Adama’s marital demons, almost kill Chief Tyrol and Callie, and advance Adama and Apollo’s reconciliation. In short, I thought this was a fine episode. They gave us a lot of what we’ve come to expect and did a much better job of treading water in the gear up for the major Baltar trial narrative. If this is a stand alone episode, it’s a much better attempt than “The Woman King.”

The Good:
-The cutting back and forth in Adama’s mind was really well done. It had a Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind feel to it. The great thing about it is that it doesn’t pull back or get sentimental. Adama’s wife was a real bitch AND she was someone he loved. She was both loveable and spiteful, caring and vicious. The ending of the episode, mirroring the beginning with Adama carefully placing his wedding picture in the desk, doesn’t offer closure and resolution but suggests that this is Adama’s debt to his wife and their relationship. There is something very real and human about his weakness in this episode. That’s something we haven’t seen a lot of in this series. Very refreshing.

“Probably seems foolish, especially how it all ended up. Still…it still means something to me.”

-What the heck have Chief Tyrol and Callie been doing since New Caprica? We knew from the Bar episode that they were having problems, but, truth be told, their relationship was a significant thread at the beginning of the New Caprica narrative that was seemingly left there. I’m glad we’ve gone back to see how they’re dealing with being back on Galactica, working together, and raising their kid.

-Nicki Clyne (Cally Tyrol) is getting better. Folks, I know some are bashing Cally but, the truth is, she (Clyne) has gotten much, much better. She’s really hit her stride as a Tyrol’s wife. She’s fairly successful portraying a character, weighted down by responsibility and in love with Tyrol while at the same time apprehensive about their new life together. Remember when putting Cally in a scene was like watching Olmos, Bamber, and Park whale on a punching bag? Good for her.

For some reason, people on the skiffy boards have a picture of her with a goofy smile and a banner underneath that says “corn muffin goodness.” I don’t pretend to know what that means.

The Bad:
-I’m not one for screaming. I think there are more powerful and effective ways to convey strong emotions. For a lesson on this, check out this week’s Friday Night Lights when the mother of the coach goes to yell at her daughter and, as her voice raises to yell, falters into a kind of sob. There’s so much conveyed in that faltering that can’t be expressed if you’ve decided to stand there and belt it out. People don’t just yell to be assholes. Emotions like that come from hurt. Adama’s wife has been neglected for his career, has taken up the bottle, and blames him. She’s vindictive because, in the end, it’s all she has left from her marriage.

-The science behind their impromptu EVA is jacked. Check out this article on what would really happen. My favorite part is when they explain that, in addition to your lungs bursting if you didn’t immediately exhale, moisture in your mouth and eyes would vaporize immediately, effectively boiling your face.

-When the Cylons are absent this is a very lonely universe. This is why Star Trek has aliens. Seriously, the episodes that don’t involve the Cylons feel like they’re missing something. It’s like being at a party after the girl you came to see has already left. You know what I’m talking about.

The Ugly:
-What the hell was that about Hot Dog scratching his crotch and complaining about a rash? Wow, STDs in space. That’s groundbreaking. What’s really funny is that Hotdog is played by Bodie Olmos, Edward James Olmos’s son who, btw, is supposed to be the younger Olmos in the wedding picture from the same episode.

-The idea of Prez. Roslyn working out in the gym…one that, according to Adama, smells like feet on its best day, is frightening and a little gross. Roslyn seems like someone who would head straight for the elliptical trainers or treadmills. Maybe some nautilus action. I just don’t see her pounding out the reps, grunting, slamming the free weights to the ground when she’s toughed out that last curl.

Clearly, with this week’s “bonus scene” they’re setting up something about what she’s really doing spending so much time on Galactica. My guess, she’s a cylon and is collaborating with Six or Baltar.

What do these two things have in common?

(ans. They are both tools.)

It’s hard to find anything good to say about “The Woman King” (ep 314). Ok, there was a great scene between Helo and Col. Tigh where Tigh proves that the only thing more devastating than taking a punch square in the jaw, is getting up from one (while giving that signature Tigh chuckle).

Otherwise, “The Woman King” stumbles right out of the gate when, during the “previously on Battlestar Galactica” section, we are shown scenes that we’ve never seen. While Ron Moore, in his podcast, has downplayed the cutting of such scenes from the episodes that have aired, the fact that this episode came before we knew that BSG was renewed for a 4th season caused a lot of concern among rational thinking people about the future of the series. For an example of what happens to a series when the studio starts cutting episodes and screwing around with the continuity of a show’s narrative see FIREFLY.

The episode is based on Helo’s attempts to control the massive influx of Sagittaron refugees (who it seems have been confused with the fundamentalist Gemenons) that have come to Galactica for sanctuary and his struggle to convince other officers that one of the civilian doctors may be killing the sagittarons. The episode is conveniently resolved when it turns out that the Doc Robert IS, in fact, killing Sagittarons.

That’s convenient because it obliterates the more interesting issue: is Helo continually putting himself at odds with his superiors, crew, and friends? Is it a character flaw or a noble characteristic? In addition, is the Sagittaron’s suspicion of Doc Robert legitimate or is it a paranoia based on their cultural shunning of organized medicine (for reasons that seem religious but are never explicitly clarified)?

The episode takes the cheap way out. Doc Roberts is a racist and, therefore, is killing the medi-phobic Sagittarons. And, of course, this makes Helo right. Close the book, case solved.
Que up the replay of the Dresden Files.

Colonel Tigh, keeping an eye out for new episodes…

The big news, of course, is that Battlestar has been renewed for a fourth season. While that is exciting, most people are overlooking the fact that the new season won’t start until January AND that it is only for 13 episodes (with some significant chatter about a standalone straight-to-DVD movie).

It’s great news that there will be more Battlestar. It’s just that it’s going to be about 8 months between the final episode of this season and the beginning of the next. Once it does begin, we’ll be given less episodes than in season 2 and 3.

In the meantime Scifi offers us The Dresden Files which, as my wife so elegantly put it, “looks like something that would appear on the Scifi channel.”

Stone cold.

After about 3 seasons, it’s obvious that positive, uplifting episodes are few and far between. Evidence? Here’s the show’s intro set to the Star Trek: Enterprise theme song, “Faith of the Heart.”

It’s only after seeing images from the 20th straight show of people being tortured, killed, maimed, emotionally scarred and unfulfilled that you realize that the spirit of wonder, discovery, and human progress of Star Trek is an impossibility in BSG. The following video is, then, a complete bastardization of everything BSG is about (which, if I had to articulate it, would amount to misery). In other words, the show that would follow this intro is a complete impossibility.

I love this video because:
1. It discards the seriousness and contemplation of the vedic poem music that begins a very dark show in favor of upbeat, 90s soft-rock cheesiness.

2. The hilariously appropriate matchup between the line “been a long road/ getting from there to here” when Caprica gets nuked (and the guitar strum when one of the bombs goes off).

3. The german titles that illustrate how lazy I was when making this vid. Seriously, I’m only willing to commit the .32 seconds in a cursory google search for “battlestar galactica mpeg.” Although, I think the german titles add something. Check out the episode trailers in german and tell me you’re not convinced we’re watching fascists in space.

4. You can still hear the Enterprise warping away in the last few seconds.

C.S. Lewis said it best in his “Expostulation”:

Why did you lure us on like this,
Light-year on light-year, through the abyss,
Building (as though we care for size!)
Empires that cover galaxies,
If at the journey’s end we find
The same old stuff we left behind,
Well-worn Tellurian stories of
Crooks, spies, conspirators, or love,
Whose setting might as well have been
The Bronx, Montmartre, or Bethnal Green.

See also: Cylon coffee shop in season 2.

In other words, we don’t have to watch a SF show like Battlestar to see someone crying in his beer…or fighting with his wife.

Some quick hit commentary on Ep 313:

- This episode was not funny. In any way. Those of you expecting something humorous after realizing the episode was named after a line in the Cheers theme song were devastatingly disappointed.

-In a related note, those of you expecting to see Norm Peterson saw, instead, Tricia Helfer and were NOT disappointed.

I’d argue that audiences fall into two distinct categories:

People who love this episode: LOVE misery, people crying, adultery, and torturing other human beings.

People who hate this episode: HATE moral ambiguity, puppies.

-Mary McDonnell shouldn’t yell. If that scene was an acting match, she got KO’d by James Callis. Watch the scene again and look how ridiculous she looks when she orders him to return to the photograph he recognizes and yells at the grunts to keep their guns on Callis/Baltar. There’s a reason she was called “Stands with a Fist” and not “Shouts With a Fist” in Dances with Kevin Costner.

-WTF kind of Doctor is Doc Cottle? The guy just stands there while they torture Baltar. Seems like I read somewhere about doctors doing no harm.

-How hilarious was Bill Adama’s special torture tecnique of holding a flashlight in Baltar’s eyes? I know he’s supposed to be in a drug induced state of extreme anxiety yadda yadda yadda… But when you step back at what we’re really watching, Eddie James Olmos is holding a flashlight in James Callis’s face.

-Flattery, such as naming the ship’s bar after a reviewer whose approval they desperately seek (namely mine), is effective only when it is accompanied by money. Really, though, the “Joe’s Bar” set was really, really lazy writing. More on that later…

By Staff Writer
Colonial News Service

In a recent survey of the three guys at the end of the bar, Ron Moore, the executive producer and creative mastermind behind Scifi’s reimagined Battlestar Galactica, is dangerously close to looking like George Lucas.

George Lucas, with substantial, if not questionable, neckbeard action.

Jeb Fontenot, an observer of popular culture and local contractor is concerned that Moore, an emerging talent in Science Fiction television, is modeling more than his career after the iconic Lucas.

“Hell yes that boy looks like that other boy,” explained Fontenot, “long-haired and all!”

“That’s a fact,” agreed Mitch Thibodeaux, “Damn Hollywood sissy boys and their book learnin.”

For Hoss Walker, a state representative from Denham Springs, Moore’s substantial likeness to George Lucas was not as troubling as the impression Moore’s photo had on him. After considerable reflection, Rep. Walker characterized Moore as “the kind of guy that might’ve stole my wife’s Nissan Sentra.”

Questions of Moore’s moral and ethical shortcomings aside, observers have noticed a disturbing trend over the last decade. As Moore’s career has developed, so too, it seems, has a certain bohemian sensibility.

Here we see Moore during the mid-1990s, sporting a 90s-appropriate band collar and shirt:

Later, Moore’s forays into facial hair would begin with a goatee. However, it should be noted that this photo may be indicative of Moore’s attempts to break into the hispanic television market since it appears on a spanish language Battlestar site.

Finally we see Moore in his current state, dangerously close to Lucas-esque hirsutism. In addition, Mr. Fontenot and others contend that Moore resembles “that guy in the movie about the big green feller,” Eric Bana.

Ultimately, Mr. Fontenot and his fellow popular culture enthusiasts are relieved Moore hasn’t followed in the footsteps of other Ron Moores (available through a cursory google search).

The civil servant:

The bus-sleeping lazy ass:

The Professor of Philosophy:

Ron Moore, his agent, and his college roomate did not return Colonial News Service requests for interviews.

Battlestar Galactica airs Sundays at 10/9c.