Redstick SF

Even the Offspring would have to agree that Saul Tigh (played by Michael Hogan) is the undisputed badass of the new Battlestar Galactica. And, unless Boxey starts backtalking Starbuck and bitch-slapping Athena as I make my way through the original series, the title may be undisputed throughout the franchise.

Where my cheerios at, ho?!

What, you may ask, elevates Saul Tigh to this epic status?

1. He brought sexy back. Err, replace “sexy” with “eye-patches.”

After having his right eye plucked out by Brother Cavell in season 3, Tigh accessorized like a champion. Nothing says “militant insurgent willing to go to any means necessary to liberate the oppressed” like a hastily strewn eye patch.

A fact that the folks over at the Scifi channel message boards have enjoyed profusely…

2. He killed his own wife. He didn’t talk about killing her. He didn’t lament that he wished he could kill her. No. When the time came to put the betraying, wino she-beast down, he did his duty.

3. He had Starbuck pegged from the get-go. After receiving that left hook from Starbuck in the miniseries, I’m pretty sure we all thought Tigh was the one with issues. After all, what little dialogue we got from him had to be spoken between sips of ambrosia/scotch/whiskey/whatever the hell people in BSG drink to get trashed.

His assessment of Starbuck, “my failings are private, yours are professional” still resonates whenever Starbuck reveals herself as a flake/slut/jerk/thinly veiled outcropping of Katie Sackoff’s limited acting ability.

4. Sure he’s a debilitating alcoholic. But he’s so damn loveable when he starts barking out orders to fly the ship to “sommme damn plaaace where they have the cheeseburgers!”

5. He almost single-handedly turned the show into a political allegory for the upside to a successful military coup and martial law. Sure he almost destroyed the fledgling democratic process, but his handling of the press was Rumsfeldian in its sarcastic condescension. And I’m unconvinced that we’re not supposed to think he’s a badass when he dissolves the Quorum of Twelve and dismisses the press like misbehaving school children in the same five minutes…set to a drum heavy, “look how awesome I am” score.

As a final note, I’ll just say that Hogan’s Tigh is much more involved in the show. The original Colonel Tigh (Terry Carter) was a “yes” man to the overbearingly wise and god-like Adama (Lorne Greene). This Tigh doesn’t shy away from dropping the f-bomb from time to time or killing people that piss him off.

But, as to who was the bigger pimp? I’ll leave that judgment in your capable hands.

Check out my fresh calculator watch.

They hopin that they gon catch me ridin dirty.

If you love to see science fiction television shows abandon their claustrophobic sets and head out west…to the studio lot, then “The Lost Warrior” is for you. “Warrior” proves that the hallmark of any SF franchise worth its salt is its ability to take time out from its main narrative to play cowboys and injuns.

“The Lost Warrior” is about as contrived as they come. A clear rip-off of the iconic 1953 western, Shane, starring Alan Ladd and Jean Arthur, “The Lost Warrior” only works because it has so much in common with a movie that a hell of a lot of people love.

Putting it simply, you’d be hard pressed to find a man over the age of 45 who wasn’t completely entralled by this movie. Mention it to your father the next time you see him and see what kind of response you get. If he tears up, you’ll understand my point.

Here’s a recap of the BSG episode:

THE LOST WARRIOR
Writer: Don Bellisario
Director: Rod Holcomb

A marooned Apollo must defend homesteaders against “Red Eye,” a malfunctioning Cylon gunslinger who thinks the local cattle baron is his “Imperious Leader.” (Original airdate: Oct. 8, 1978)

With: Kathy Cannon (Vella), Johnny Timko (Puppis), Lance LeGault (Bootes), Claude Earl Jones (La Certa), Red West (Marco), Rex Cutter (Red Eye)

Some things should immediately jump out to you. The scenario, the defending of homesteaders, is straight from Shane and, more specifically, a frequent trope in the western harkening back to the historical fact of Wyoming’s Johnson County War of 1892.

More to the point, Apollo’s involvement with a local family mirrors Shane’s relationship with the Starretts. In other words, both the episode and the famous film are really about family. It’s pretty significant that this is the first episode after Serina (Boxey’s mother) is killed. Apollo, in an interesting but strange scene, has already taken to calling Boxey his son (without any mention of the fact that Boxey is his step-son…by a marriage that took place only a few days, or, to use the show’s lingo, centons ago).

In addition, Boxey, in Apollo’s absence, has invaded the bridge of the Galactica and taken, it seems, to calling Adama “grandfather” and treating the Viper squadron as his extended family. It’s an arrangement that appears to be reflexive…if not forced. “He’s lost one parent,” Starbuck says, “he’s not going to lose another!”

Besides the emphasis on family, “Warrior” understands that the essential element of any western is the violence that it doles out. It isn’t long before we’re introduced to “Red-eye,” a cylon warrior who, upon crashlanding on the planet’s surface and suffering from a kind of amnesia, serves as a gunslinger/ enforcer for a petty cattle baron who looks like a mix between Colonel Sanders and Boss Hawg.

Apollo eventually pulls out his blaster (to be distinguished from the air-powered Numos that cannot penetrate Red-eye) and regulates.

Of course, the problem with alluding so heavily to another work is that you risk losing your audience. It can, in other words, serve as a kind of in-joke. And if you’re not privy to it, you’re lost. Clearly, this is what happens at the end of the episode.

After Apollo has repaired his ship and has left the planet, the mother and son who he lived with sit in a bale of hay, looking wistfully into the stars. The mother reassures her son, “He said he would be back for us.”

They must know how stupid that sounds.

Here, referencing Shane has become so important that the episode’s ending actually collapses. We know damn well Apollo isn’t coming back for them. Why would he? So, what the hell are they talking about?

It only makes sense if it invokes the ending of Shane, where young Joey Starrett who, as Shane rides off into the distance, begs him to come back.

Usually, people bash television shows for copying other works. Here, though, I think it works. We see the show’s writers trying to map Shane’s emphasis on the family onto the BSG characters. That’s not a bad idea for an episode that appeared very early in the series.

And, besides, sometimes it is nice to get out of the set, see the sun shine, and fire off a few rounds.

By Staff Writer
Colonial News Service

In a move that stunned television critics and fans alike, the SciFi channel announced today that it is declining to renew Battlestar Galactica for its fourth season. When asked to explain the unpopular decision, studio execs suggested that recent Nielsen ratings, or the show’s “reach,” failed to capture a key demographic the network has been steadily pursuing.

“We know we’ve got the male, 18-35 year old audience,” said Tony Optican, Scifi Vice President of Development and Current Programming, “but who doesn’t?” “It’s not hard to program attractive looking actresses to bring in that audience. Just look at Fox.” “But attractive sounding?” he offered, “That’s the challenge.”

What Optican is referring to, of course, is the network’s increased attention to programming for the visually impaired. After a policy shift at the FCC in 1999 to promote the use of descriptive audio to commercial television programs, some networks began pursuing more aggressive ways of attracting the blind audience.

For Battlestar Galactica, the challenge that faced the show’s producers was that, for the visually impaired, this:

Looked like this:

“If you look at some of the most successful shows of the past few decades,” explains Optican, “they were performed by leading ladies that were not only pleasing to the eye, but also to the ear.”

An example?

“Angela Lansbury,” offered Optican, “That broad had it all.” Optican concluded, “We need to have more shows like Murder She Wrote. That’s science fiction, right?”

Ron Moore, executive producer of Battlestar Galactica, was surprised by the announcement. “Well, I suppose Tony is right,” said an exasperated Moore, “I can’t say we ever thought about how Tricia, Grace, or Mary, for that matter, connected with those audiences.” “If I had thought about it,” Moore said, “maybe I could have hired a speech therapist, an elocutionist, or something.”

The remaining episodes of Battlestar Galactica will air Sundays at 10/9c.

By Staff Writer
Colonial News Service

It’s not easy being green? Try being red.

In 2003, viewers of the SciFi channel’s mini-series re-envisioning of the 1970s cult hit Battlestar Galactica were treated to the stunning Tricia Helfer as “Six,” the Cylon instrumental in the apocalyptic destruction of the Twelve Colonies and, for that matter, most of humanity.

Indeed, audiences were drawn immediately to the robotic vixen as she slinked in and out of frame in what eventually became the much remarked upon red dress.

But well into the third season, with the show going for a grittier timbre in its much criticized “insurgency” narrative, the red dress is nowhere to be found. Instead, an army of khaki pants and designer jeans have taken the field.

We caught up with the red dress, who was on location shooting a made-for-tv film for the Lifetime channel, I Am My Mother’s Daughter.

Red dress sat down with us and, in the following conversation, talked about Battlestar Galactica, Tricia Helfer, and coming out of the closet. It’s a tale of sorrow, resentment, and a life of permanent press(ure).

Colonial News Service: Red dress, thanks for taking the time to speak with us.

Red Dress: Yeah. Glad to talk with you. (sips coffee)

CNS: You spent nearly two seasons on BSG, what sticks with you the most from your time there?

Red Dress: Really, the people. Mary McDonnell was very kind to me. I’ve always been a big fan of her work and she was helpful with a bit of advice here, pulling a piece of lint there.

The same goes for Eddie [Edward James Olmos], who was always quick with a joke and a “good game” pat.

CNS: I noticed that you didn’t mention Tricia Helfer. Have you spoken to her since your much publicized break?

RD: No, look, I just think that when you work so closely with someone for any amount of time, there are bound to be wrinkles. You know, I understand some of the things she’s said….I’m not very supportive, etc.

My concern has always been that when she had a disagreement over creative direction, she should’ve come to talk with me. The next thing I know, I’m in a crate headed for NBC’s 30 Rock. Tina Fey?! I’d rather be worn by Alec Baldwin.

CNS: How has it affected your relationships with the other costars?

RD: It’s strained, you know, because we’ve seen so little of each other. The last time I talked with James Callis he was, I don’t know, distant.

CNS: There’s quite a buzz for your upcoming film, I Am My Mother’s Daughter, on the Lifetime network. Tell us about it.

RD: It’s about two women working an Emu farm in southern Louisiana. I’m working with Delta Burke, who plays Deidra Devereaux a recent divorcee who has left behind the big city life of Montgomery, Alabama and returned to her family and roots in Houma.

When the farm is attacked by marauding motorcycle enthusiasts, Deidra’s mother, Tammy May (Kathy Bates), is injured.

The responsibility of the farm, of nursing Tammy May back to health from a painful crossbow wound, and of tending this season’s flock of Emus all fall to Deidra. Of course, all of this is made more difficult by the fact that Emus, over open ground, can sprint up to 30 mph.

If they are all going to survive, she’ll have to come to terms with her past and dig down deep inside for that strength so characteristic of the Devereaux women.

CNS: Yes, it’s very compelling. You haven’t worked with Delta Burke before, was that role a stretch for you?

RD: Have you seen Delta Burke?

CNS: Right. Well, we’ll leave it at that. Thanks again for your time.

RD: Thank you.